This month I'm writing more of a
reflective piece: not so much what I'm doing right now, or have done
this last month, but how I feel about the last six months, and what
I'm thinking about the future. So much has happened since I arrived,
it feels both like I've been here a very long time, and hardly any
time at all. Being six months in is a strange feeling, because it's
been enough time to really miss the things and people I love back
home, but also enough time to begin to feel very settled, and to be
able to envisage what a future here might be like. Ultimately,
however, the former have won me over. For many reasons. Some trivial.
And some fundamental.
Circus is always going to be
fundamental to my life and my happiness: it isn't something I am
'exorcising' from my system by doing as much of it as possible over
here – it is a part of me. But living over here doesn't seem specifically advantageous over living in the UK or Europe for
following that dream. Admittedly - you can do flying trapeze in the
Winter! - but aside from that, I don't think it has been any easier
to create networks and find jobs. Whereas for skydivers and divers
the Australian climate means that there are more jobs in those
sectors, sunshine and circus don't necessarily equate! Plus, on a
practical level, I am having to assess that whilst I have been able
to find good work with flying trapeze, it has not been enough to live
on, (hence taking ridiculous jobs such as selling strawberries) and a
high percentage of that work hasn't been what I came for (two words:
children's parties....aaargh!).
More trivially, Australia HAS A WINTER
AFTER ALL. Yes, dear British readers, it really does. I have never
been so cold. True, it may still be nice and warm outside, but come
home at night to a house that is designed to keep the heat out, and
has never heard of central heating...and it is VERY chilly.
It's amazing how quickly you can become
so accustomed to a new and exciting place, that you forget just how
exciting it is. Sometimes I'm on the train going over the harbour,
and have to remind myself how spectacular the view is, and how much I
wanted it and how hard I worked to get here and have it. And
reminding myself of how special and unique this experience is is
something I intend to do every day until I leave.
I am so privileged to have had, and be
having such an incredible time out here. It has been so good for me
in so many ways. People can so easily get stuck in a routine, shut
doors and wear blinkers. Being here is reminding me how to live: the
rewards to be gained from putting yourself out there beyond your
comfort zone; the joy in opening yourself to new and totally
different friendships and experiences; the humility you learn from
the kindness of strangers to new people in new countries.
So, here's to everyone I have met along
my journey so far, with thanks, and to the next half of the year,
with great anticipation... :)
