'Right. Here's the trapeze bar. Do as
many pull-ups as you can. Go'.
After that, as many leg raises, as many
sit-ups, as many press-ups and squats as I could. And after that, a
taster in juggling, acrobalance and trapeze. That was my audition for
circus school.
I can't pinpoint the exact moment when
I knew I couldn't just stay in my desk job forever but I've known for some time that I wanted
something different, something that suited me
more and made me feel more alive. But it's been creeping up on me so
steadily that despite the fact that at 29, with a secure job in
the civil service, a flat, a mortgage and a life in London – I still want
to give it all up and forge a very different path. In the circus. And
in the sunshine.
I've got through the first hurdles: the
application form, the audition, resigned from my job, become a landlord, packed my bags and arrived in Bristol ready to start at Circomedia on the 25th. I can expect to be in class everyday from 08.30-17.30,
with additional evening and weekend training. After three months, I
shall be released to dazzle the world with my new found performance
skills. After that, Australia. The sunshine, outdoors lifestyle and
relaxed mentality that tells you yes, you can do what it is that you
want to do. (Or at least you can for as long as the visa lasts).
I should start at a slight advantage –
having done aerial adult classes over the last three years –
and hope that full-time training will give me the edge I need to
compete with the professionals (apart from the kids that have trained since age 4 and end up in Cirque du Soleil!). My disadvantage
is my age and my aspirations have to be more modest! But put
simply, escaping the system. Seeing if I can do it - performing and working for myself. Prioritising self-sufficiency and
lifestyle.
Of course there are going to be hurdles.
Practical things like whether or not I'm going to be able to afford
not having 'steady' work (will I panic the
first month I don't see a salary drop magically in to my bank
account?) - and more intangible, yet vital things like maintaining
self-belief, and ignoring the whole realm of
subliminal and not so
subliminal messaging that tells me to
stop messing around and think of my pension.
But for the time being it's time to spruce up my gym kit and get started!
